An addition to the long litany of examples of nothing ever working:
I hijacked the scanner at school so that I could post some of my photographs...but only after spending an hour scanning did I notice that the scanner was covered with fingerprints and smudges, which have ended up on the photographs as well. Dammit. I'll edit these later. I could just wait to post them, but goddammit, I spent way too much time scanning and screwing around with photoshop to be reasonable.